stepmother

My poor blog... it probably thinks it's been deserted!

Life has been pretty busy around here lately and with a recent "anemia attack" as I so lovingly call it, I've barely been able to get through my days at work, doing the part-time work on the business and take care of everything else.

Nothing much has happened-- but then I read the blogs of other people and realize I just need to reawaken my creative juices and write about the things that happen in my ordinary life.

My step-motherlyness (I don't think that's a real word since there's a red squiggly line under it right now) has taken a hit!  A while ago, it started to bother M that the kids were still calling me Adrienne and he had a little chat with them about all the stuff I do around the house and for them. The kids eventually came to the conclusion that I do everything a mom does-- and M made his point-- they should call me Mom.

Later that day, the kids and I got home from school and H started calling me Mom. "Mom! Mom! Mom!" and it drove me nuts! It's never bothered me that they call me by my name (they have a mom they see every single day and I'm fine not being called the same name as she is) but being called Mom bugged me. I couldn't pin point the problem but it really bugged me. For H the experiment only lasted a few hours and the Mom thing was soon dropped. B picked up on calling me Mom a few days later-- when he remembered. He forced himself to stop mid-word "Adri.... I mean, Mom..." For a couple of weeks he it forced it everytime he wanted to talk to me. Then, he moved into a phase where he just didn't call me anything and this past week he's calling me both. H won't say the M word to me anymore (I have a feeling her mom had an opinion about it!).

I think if the kids were here all the time being called Mom wouldn't be so weird sounding. Maybe if I didn't feel awkward about them calling their real parents by their first names because they're calling their step-parents the parent titles. Maybe if they didn't call me Mom and then proceed to tell me what their Mom does (I never do anything right anymore in the eyes of H... nothing is as good as what her mom does. Nothing. From doing hair, to helping put on tights, to making tomato soup, to decorating the house, to making dinners she'll eat... etc.)

 Maybe I'm just touchy about the "mom thing" in general since I lost my mom and will never call another woman Mom for the rest of my life.

I went on Babycenter.com and read through some step-parenting questions posted there. One was about what stepkids call the step-mom and I was pleasantly surprised to see how many kids just call their step-mothers by their first names and when introducing them, introduce them as "My step-mom, Mary" or whatever.

M has been nice enough to just let us all settle in to whatever is anyone wants to call anyone, although I know he'd prefer if we sounded like a "real" family-- his ex makes the kids call their stepdad, Dad and it used to really bother him when the kids would call him his real name.

It's just so awkward! I guess should we ever have our own kids then we can reevaluate what everyone is called then, but for now, I'm fine being the step-mom, Adrienne.